Twin Mom Problems: "They're Both Crying, Who Do I Pick Up???"
I had TRUE anxiety about this when I was pregnant and that's really why I want to share this – so that other twin moms don't freak out as much as I did.
Calm down, you're not alone...
Okay, first of all, if you have an amazing partner, you'll never be alone with both of them crying when they're only infants. So if you're pregnant with twins right now, know that your anxiety of not being able to provide comfort to both of them immediately is probably just a little mommy worry and it's not likely to happen, at least not often...
Cry it out...
But, what if he runs to the DMV or steps outside to talk on the phone? From personal experience of this happening once... while I was feeding Stefon, Kruz started crying. I couldn't physically get to him without pulling Stefon off of my breast and upsetting him. It was tough as a new mother to hear my baby cry and I couldn't soothe him immediately, but from that moment on we both noticed he had learned to soothe himself. If he fussed a little or woke up between sleep cycles, he had learned to calm himself. So, there's a plus!
On the other hand, I've attempted the CIO method with Stefon when I knew he was only crying for a pacifier and I was unsuccessful. I think having been forced to let Kruz CIO early on made him much stronger in self soothing.
If they're both crying, you're all alone, what do you do!?
So, maybe I'm lucky, but Kruz only cries if he's hungry or in the night he may cry for his pacifier and those are both a super quick fix. Stefon cries if he's soiled, hungry, or uncomfortable – also, all super quick fixes. But babies are pretty easy. Your options are this:
- If it's a hungry cry, feed them – either set them up to tandem feed or prepare two bottles, whatever your circumstances are
- If it's a soiled cry, change the one that's crying the most first and then settle him nearby you while you change the next baby
- If it's a comfort cry, as a twin mom you'll learn quickly how to pick them both up – I lay them down next to each other and scoop them in my arms. When they were small they stayed there. Now that they're bigger they settle onto my hips.
- If they're crying for different things, make the motherly decision of what's more important or less time consuming. For example, if Kruz was crying to eat, but I knew I needed to change Stefon first, I would give Kruz a pacifier momentarily and talk to them both while I changed Stefon, then I would lay Stefon next to me to rest or play while I nursed Kruz.
It definitely gets easier as you learn how to use both hands to multitask. You will learn how to be ambidextrous to say the least. If you have any questions about tandem feeding, lifting both babies at the same time, giving both babies a bottle, changing both babies, bathing both babies, holding both babies... Let me know :) I would be more than happy to help you out <3
As a twin mom, just know that God will never put you in a situation that you cannot handle. You must remain confident and calm as much as possible – for yourself and your babies. They will feed off of your energy and look to you for how to feel and cope in the early months. They don't yet no God, they know Mom. To a baby, Mom is God. You have done everything in your power to bring them into the world safely and it's scary to all of a sudden have them on the outside of your body at the mercy of the earth, but I am promising you that God will never put you in a situation that you cannot handle. Continue to pray for His guidance, support, and protection over your family.